The Home Pages of John Barber
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Author, Writer, Research
Over 750 insults from the famous to the anonymous.
Many never previously published in an anthology.
Contains 48 A4 pages of wit, irony and sarcasm. Ideal for speakers, writers and anyone needing a ‘put down’.
All quotes can be copied into other applications.
Absolutely FREE. To get your copy see below.
More quotes entirely from the sporting world (but not insulting) can be found on my Sports Pages index.
Here are a selection of insults from pages selected at random.
I wish I could care what you do or where you go but I can't. My dear, I don't give a damn. Margaret Mitchell, US novelist.
You smell like a second class railway carriage. Sir Iain Moncrieff, Scottish aristocrat.
Alec Home can prove that he doesn't descend from Edward 111. Harold Wilson can't . He might. Because you don't know
who's done what. You can't assume you're descended from a long line of nobodies. The Duke of Devonshire, passing through,
might have done a Miss Wilson.
Sir Iain Moncrieff, passing judgement on two Prime Ministers, one from the aristocracy, the other solidly working class.
Men are vile, inconstant toads. Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, English writer.
People wish their enemies dead -
Britain would be fine if it wasn't for the people, hotels, lavatories, taxis and dirty dogs.
Michael Montagu, Head of the English Tourist Board.
The English are busy; they don't have time to be polite. Montesquieu.
This sort of thing may be tolerated by the French, but we are British -
Sex was a competition event in those days and the only thing you could take as a certainty was that everyone else was lying, just as you were. Bob Geldorf.
Bugger Bognor. King George V
When they circumcised Herbert Samuel they threw away the wrong bit. David Lloyd George.
If you can actually count your money then you are not really a rich man. J Paul Getty.
You aint no part of no conquering army. GI Handbook
In much of your talking thinking is half murdered. Kahlil Gibran, Syrian writer and painter.
I once put an MFI wardrobe together in less than four days. Terry Gibson, footballer.
She might very well pass for forty three. In the dusk with a light behind her. W S Gilbert, one half of Gilbert and Sullivan.
It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Samuel Butler
Arthur Sketchley has been here for two or three days. He left yesterday but the staircase still trembles. H J Byron
The intellectual eunuch. Lord Byron
A lady of 'a certain age' -
The petrifactions of a plodding brain. Lord Byron
Peddler-
We are more apt to catch the vices of others than their virtues as disease is far more contagious than health. Charles Caleb
57 old farts. Will Carling, English captain on the Rugby Football Union
With a name like yours you might be any shape, almost. Lewis Carroll
At 50, everyone has the face they deserve. George Orwell
Advertising is the rattling of a stick in a bucket. George Orwell
Women are around all the time but World Cups come only every four years. Peter Osgood, footballer
She has become a parrot. Ian Paisley, Irish politician
The woman can speak eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any of them. Dorothy Parker, American critic and writer
She tells enough white lies to ice a cake. Dorothy Parker
She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B. Dorothy Parker
How can they tell? Dorothy Parker on death of Calvin Coolidge
This novel is not to be tossed aside lightly but to be hurled with great force. Dorothy Parker
You can send a horticulture, but you can't make her think. Dorothy Parker
More quotes entirely from the sporting world (but not insulting) can be found on my Sports Pages index.
This page has been posted on the Internet in one form or another for almost ten years. If you want to copy and paste any of these or download the whole book (which has full resale rights); download the pdf file from here.
This is absolutely FREE but if you would like to make a donation however small to a still struggling author and writer then this will be really appreciated. I will not be offended if nothing is given; not having to maintain this page for much longer is reward enough.
