I had to make a journey a little while ago,
Somewhere down the Midland Counties, you must know;
A charming little creature was seated by my side,
Who asked if I would lend her my Bradshaw¹s Guide.
This lady she was troubled with absence of mind,
The ticket for a journey she had left it far behind,
She could not recollect the town to which she wish¹d to ride.
So begg¹d that I would lend her my Bradshaw¹s Guide.

SPOKEN. ­Yes, she had actually forgotten the name of the town that she wished to travel to.
Could only remember that the word contained the letter R. M. or W.
So I began to run thro¹ a list of towns whose names contain that letter, such as­

CHORUS. Birmingham and Sandringham, Ulverton and Wolverton,
Dorchester and Porchester, Rochester and Ryde;
Arlington and Darlington, Torrington and Warrington
She said she'd sure to find it in my Bradshaw's Guide.

Then I produced my Bradshaw, and said to her, fair Miss,
Perhaps the place you¹re wanting you may find it out in this;
She took the volume from my hand, and eagerly she tried
To find the town she wanted in my Bradshaw¹s Guide.
She searched o¹er ev¹ry leaf, and turn¹d o¹er ev¹ry page,
Until at last the lady, she got in quite a rage;
She soon turned round to me, and bitterly she cried,­
Dear sir, I cannot find it in your Bradshaw¹s Guide.

SPOKEN. ­Although she said she had read all through­

CHORUS.
Birmingham and Sandringham, Ulverton and Wolverton,
Dorchester and Porchester, Rochester and Ryde;
Arlington and Darlington, Torrington and Warrington
She said she'd sure to find it in my Bradshaw's Guide.

I reached my destination, and was going to alight,
When she placed her hand upon my arm, and said, with much affright­
Oh, dear Sir, don¹t leave me, all alone to ride,
What shall I do without you, and my Bradshaw¹s Guide?
Said I, then come along with me down to my Hotel,
Perhaps the place you¹re wanting, you may happen there to tell,
So she linked her arm in mine and I escorted her with pride,
Said I, I¹ll be your friend, Miss, and your Bradshaw¹s Guide.

SPOKEN. ­And said I, we will soon discover whether it is­

CHORUS.
Birmingham and Sandringham, Ulverton and Wolverton,
Dorchester and Porchester, Rochester and Ryde;
Arlington and Darlington, Torrington and Warrington
She said she'd sure to find it in my Bradshaw's Guide.

I hired a conveyance and quickly off we rode,
I took her to my quarters, where she took up her abode;
And all the livelong day, then both of us, we tried
To find the town she wanted in my Bradshaw¹s Guide.
And while we both were searching, I squeezed her little glove,
And suddenly discovered that I was deep in love,
I proposed and was accepted, and now she is my bride,
And together we amuse ourselves with Bradshaw¹s Guide.

SPOKEN. ­And of course, you know, she doesn¹t care anything now, about­

CHORUS.
Birmingham and Sandringham, Ulverton and Wolverton,
Dorchester and Porchester, Rochester and Ryde;
Arlington and Darlington, Torrington and Warrington
She said she'd sure to find it in my Bradshaw's Guide.